THE LONG AWAITED HIGH SHOOL REUNION

15 years and yet some things never change

So last month I attended my 15 year high school reunion. I know alot of people who've said they would never attend their reunion, but I actually had a blast in high school so I was looking foward to seeing everyone. As it turned out, I think only about 1/3 of our alumni actually showed up, but it was still a good time. So lemme tell a little about the good and some of the perplexingly bad...

For starters, it was just great to see some of my ol' friends - most of which still live within an hour. I was fortunate enough to put together a video of old footage and pictures to show at the event, and this allowed me to touch base with many classmates beforehand. And that was really cool.

For some, like my girl Melanie whom I've known for over 25 years (wow - is that scary) it was an instant reconnection with a good friend. Since first talkin' 'bout the reunion in the early stages close to a year ago, we've been keepin' each other entertained throughout our work week with emails - reminiscing about the old days and what not. Then there were others, like my old friend Mike: back and the day, Mike and I partied together quite a bit - but for some reason as the years went by, we saw less and less of each other. It was great to reconnect and realize that we still had a good time hangin' out. Although we're all a little busier with each passing year, hopefully we'll be able to get together every now and then and stay in touch.

And the list goes on and on... Becky, Jennie, Steph, Chris, Kristi, Margaret, Jen, Angela, Wally, Dwayne and countless others... it was great to see everyone. I've been fortunate to remain extremely close with 5 or 6 friends throughout the years, but for many other once close friends, we drifted apart. That's just how it goes. Life's so complicated these days - it was just cool to be around some of my other ol' friends from the days when life was much less hectic.

Ah yes - but there was some wierd moments too. Although overall I had a blast, there were definitely some odd shit that went down - either witnessed on my own or told to me by someone afterward. All incidents gave me the same overall impression - "No matter where our lives have taken us since, some people reverted back to there high school alter-ego at the reunion"... almost like that When-in-Rome cliche analogy. So here's a few things that struck me in that vain throughout the night:

Let's start with our former prom queen. And I'll be honest, I wasn't the best of friends with this girl back in the day. We were just different. She didn't seem to laugh too much back then - who knows... maybe she just didn't think I was funny - but most of the time, our personalities clashed. She just seemed too uptight for my style back then. But ironically, over the years after high school, we actually got along pretty well. I would see her now and then through mutual friends' gatherings and we had some good times together. I remember thinking "ah... we were all a little different growing up"

So fast foward to reunion night, I'm at the bar... after the video presentation and getting a round of drinks for some friends. I see her at the bar and with a somewhat annoyed tone she asks "How'd you get a picture from my wedding? I didn't give you any pics to use" Huh... whatta say to that? Definitely sounded like something I'd hear from her back in the day... Not a big deal - but that conversation definitely gave me the when-in-Rome vibe...

The video was actually well recieved, and I did have a blast doin' it. I consciously tried to include every classmate (whether they attended the event or not) in the presentation. And I'm sure some people were disappointed they weren't in it more, but I was at the mercy of the pictures that were submitted by various classmates. Once I felt everyone was in there once, I went with what would be most entertaining to watch on screen.

So I was stunned when two former classmates asked me the same exact question afterwards: "How come there were so many pictures of the clique in the video" Ah yes - the clique... talk 'bout a high school term. For if ya didn't have one in your school, that was the term used for the more popular kids... who knows if I was in the clique or not - nor did I ever care. I always tried to be friends with everyone despite any of their or my perceived 'status'. I guess I am (and proudly I must add) just so far removed from any of those teenage social terms and seperations. If anything, I was naive to assume everyone else would be too.

But what was most disturbing was that the two people that made this comment were people I remained casual friends with during our post high school years. I mean, I don't go to their kids birthday parties, but we have each other's phone number - so it just stung that two friends actually would even use that term... or be bothered by who was in the video more. Were they counting along the way?? I can't count how many pictures both of them submitted for the video combined: uh... that'd be zero!! With insuing conversations with each of them, it was obvious they both felt some sort of betrayal on my part to include some more than others - and for that I can't help them - they should have better things to worry about. Or not worry about it at all and just have a good time for cryin' out loud.

And then there was a story I heard from a close friend during a post-reunion conversation. My friend mentioned a story where at the reunion she told a close friend how she was hoping to catch up with another classmate at some point during the night - to which her close friend said "you better not!! I hated her in high school!!" I mean, c'mon already. How old are you?? That's just sad...

Guess it paid to enjoy high school. I definitely don't harbor any ill will towards any of my classmates - despite how we may or may not have socialized back in the day.

I even took the oppurtunity to hang with a select group of alumni for a hotel room after party. The lure: the fact that in no way would we have all tied one on together back in the day - no would I have the oppurtunity with this particular group again.

And that's what a reunion should be about, shouldn't it? Well, for me it was... and I had a blast!!

Taking the Long Way Home

So I was drivin' home the other day and I drifted back a bit...

...back to the days when I'd be driving home to spend the rest of my day with someone. That sure was a long time ago. It was a different time back then and there are definitely days when I miss it. It can defintiely be a struggle to keep myself entertained after work these days. And the weekends... man can they be long and boring. Back then it was different - the thought of tomorrow was always present. That feeling was really great... It was wonderful to share your life with someone. I miss that optimism from day to day.

I think one of the things I miss the most is sharing my everyday life with someone I truly enjoy being around. Unfortunately my ex and I had an awful split, but when it was good, we had a lot of fun together. We had great chemistry when it came to everyday compatibility... always making each other laugh now and then throughout the night. Simply put, back then, we geniunely enjoyed each other's company.

Ironically on the way out, she'd say I didn't appreciate her a million times - to which I'd say "bull fuckin' shit" or "ah, whateva" (no suprise we're divorced, huh?). I always wonder how it would have played out if I knew back then what I know now. But I don't know if I woulda gotten to the understanding I needed to if I hadn't ultimately got divorced. And only I would have to hit rock fuckin' bottom emotionally before finally starting to understand what the hell happened. (She said I was stubborn too).

So the ride home this day wasn't that great... Don't get me wrong, understanding things about yourself is always good. But to get to this point the way I have makes it all the more humbling too. There's a level of embarrassment when you're humbled... and guilt too - and it makes it hard to talk about. Who knows if I'm even writing about it effectively right now.

Anyway, when I finally pulled into the driveway I got this emptiness in my stomach for a second or two. I don't know what it was. Maybe it's cause all the reflective thinking I did on the way home came and now it was time to walk in the front door alone once again. Maybe I'm just sick of being bored... who knows?

So as I settled in for another night of bachelorhood in front of tube, I just accept the fact that I'll probably always think about my ex-wife from time to time. I'd only be lying if I tried to say otherwise. And inevitably, at some point down the road, I'll drift back to those times again - until something will avert my attention elsewhere... like those LeBron commercials or a Seinfeld rerun... or until I meet some other woman who will affect my everyday life...

... so until then...

Thank god for the remote!!