The Santa List

So what do I want for Christmas this year? ...hmmm... well:

If Santa was Chuck Woolery, I'd ask for a brunette about 5'5', long hair, curves where they count, soft skin, a bare left ring finger and a gorgeous smile.

If Santa was Mother Nature, I'd ask for sunny and 70* everyday of every year

If Santa was a millioniare, I'd ask him to pony up enough dough to eliminate my debt and buy a house without a mortgage

If Santa was my boss, I'd ask for 52 weeks of paid vacation

If Santa was George Steinbrenner, I'd ask him to get some better pitching for cryin' out loud!!!

If Santa was pornographer, I'd ask to be his cameraman

If Santa was our President, I'd ask for New Orleans and Biloxi to get more of his attention

If Santa was Spike Lee, I'd ask when he's gonna make the Jackie Robinson bio-pic

If Santa was a gardener, I'd ask for a lifetime supply of garlic, broccoli and tomatoes

...and if Santa isn't real - please don't tell Julia, Hannah, Courtney, Anthony, Charlie, Simon, Nicholas or Michael....

because they're what Christmas is all about anyway...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!

Lisa Guerrero - What a Jip!!!

So Lisa Guerrero, who used to be the field reporter on Monday Night Football among other TV sporting gigs, was in Playboy this month. And I have to say, I was pretty psyched for this issue, as she is definitely a hottie - an I'm enough of a loser these days to get all excited about it...

BUT what a letdown - she's got fake boobs!!! Damn Hollywood...

She went from a 9 1/2 to about a 6 or 7 on my scale for that one. Yikes - not my deal those damn overly firm racks. Ah well, doesn't make her a bad person....

just doesn't qualify for my ultimate fantasy anymore.

like she cares, right?