WINTER SUCKS!!

So it's the winter time - man do I hate the fuckin' winter. It's butt-ass cold, lips chapped, skin dry, car takes forever to warm up, grass is dead, trees are naked, no baseball, no beach, no Dairy Queen... I mean, winter just brings me down.

Still another 2 months til Little League starts... at least coaching keeps me busy... and outside, enjoying some fresh air. So what the hell is there to do then? Skiing? No thanks, I'm good. Ice skating... yeah right, what am I? Gay?

Sometimes I wonder why I didn't stay down south when I had the chance - but then I remember that other than the cold, New England is much better. But that don't cheer me up when I'm freezin' my balls off pumping gas!!!

Ah well, maybe if I had a lady I'd be in a better mood...

Maybe if I made more money I'd care less about the cold...

Did I mention the ridiculous price of oil to heat my house?

Alright - I guess there's worst things in the world to get bent outta shape about...

Tommie kicked my ass.... hard!!!

So Christmas night was eventful, or so I was told. The annual gathering of old friends once again took place at my man Adam's house. He and his girl Jill have been hosting the Christmas bender for a few years now.. and I was ready to get my drink on...

The drink of choice for the night... what we like to call a 'Tommie'. Named after the package store clerk who suggested the drink, it's simply a Mike's Hard Lemonade spiked with Absolute Citron. Oh yeah, them's is good!!!

I believe the record for Tommies in 1 night was 3. Set a few months back by some cat whose name I've forgotten. But no worries, he's no longer the record holder anyway... That's right, yours truly almost doubled the record, throwing down 5 1/2. It could been 6, but from what I was told, my hand stopped working 1/2 through my 6th, as I dropped my glass while talking with my man Joe and it was a wrap from there...

Can't say I remember much after the 2nd actually. But word around the campfire is I was quite the entertainer. Apparently I told Jill's mom not to worry about the kids sleeping, as I'd get up with them if I had to (yeah, right) using F-bombs to make my point too. Jill's stepfather was repeatedly pointed out as a "hard ass". I had several conversations I don't even vaguely recall - I even was unaware of who was at the party the next day... Even Adam's attempts to warn me of the Tommies effect was drunkenly shaken off everytime I started anutha...

And not only did I set the Tommie record, I came in 1st place for the nite as well (that's our little term for the most drunk). But it came at a price... let's just say I spent the first 2 hours the next morning crawling back and forth from my bed to the toilet (thank god it was only straight across the hallway). I took a couple breaks, face down on the cold bathroom floor, in between pukes... now that's old school...

Needless to say, New Year's Eve wasn't nearly as interesting. I planned on going to a party, but fell asleep on the couch, waking up around 10, seeing the snow outside, and simply staying in...

Besides, my body couldn't take even a sip of champagne almost a week after the Tommie ass-whoopin'....