10 SIGNS I'M GETTING OLDER

1. My forehead is bigger
2. Pregnant women are sexy
3. I get heartburn like a mutha
4. Interest in today's music is at an all-time low
5. Overall hair maintainence is at an all-time high
6. I'll check out a woman's ass before her boobs now
7. Softball injuries are more frequent and more painful
8. 15-year HS reunion is less than a year away
9. Bouncers stopped carding me
10. Carolyn on The Apprentice is kinda hot