BACHELOR MOMENT: The Tongue Sucker

I'll tell ya - Single at 32 couldn't fuckin' blow any worse. Ho-ly Shit Batman!!

I mean, do I really need to have a date end with a woman who can't kiss. What's that all about!! Are ya kidding me? I mean, I'm not asking for much here, am I?... Lame as it sounds, that was how my last date ended a few weeks back - and I can't say I'm chomping at the bit to do that again. I gotta tell ya, 6 back-to-back episodes of Seinfeld on TBS (all of which I've already seen 50 gazillion times) sounds a hell of a lot better on a Friday than getting my tongue sucked....

Ya know, finding the mother of your children isn't easy - and these non-kissers aren't giving me any signals she'll be coming around the mountain anytime soon...

So what the fuck!!!! After dates like this, I have to admit, I start thinking maybe single life ain't all that bad - if only because it's better than these suck ass dates. But of course, that'd mean I wouldn't be having much sex for the rest of my friggin' life - and that just ain't gonna cut it either.

Typically guy right? All about the sex. Believe me, I'm well aware of all the beautiful aspects of a healthy relationship, most of which are more important than sex.

But that's for when you're in love...

which I'm not right now...

so bring on the smokin' hot chicks...

And leave the tongue-suckers at home...